My Death Knell
by My Loveless One
Summary: (future HiroxSuguru)Hiro is going to marry Ayaka without knowing that Suguru loves him. But at the wedding when Suguru faints in front of everyone he's forced to tell the other his feelings.


Hey all! Damn, it's been awhile since I've written anything.. I'm really sorry to all those who are reading "Destiny" but I'm not happy with my writing for that. I'm going to go over and fix those two chapters. I'll put them up again soon along with a new chapter.

The numbers are because this chapter is the introduction one. Time skips a lot in it and normally a month or so passes between each scene. If I have the same number that means no time has passed.

Okay .. wow.. this program doesn't have "okay" in its word database. That's funny! Anyway this story is for my friend Rachel who wrote the wonderfulistic fanfic Cutting Through It All. Go check it out!

Warning: Shounen ai! Not like that should be a problem considering this is a Gravitation fanfic.

"Hark! The bell's tolling, I well know its meaning,

My poor heart tells me it is my death knell" - From "Bold Robert Emmett" by Tom Maguire, a song about an Irish patriot. Those words inspired this fanfic.

0-

Suguru Fujisaki was in love. There was no doubt about it. It was definite, he was completely and utterly sure about it. There was only one problem. Suguru was a man as was the one he was in love with. And to make matters worse – his love had a girlfriend! That alone was enough to make the poor boy go insane. And yet, it kept on getting worse. He saw the way she looked at Hiro, his love. She was not in love with him. There was not love in her eyes. Instead he saw guilt. She didn't love Hiro and she was guilty because of it.

This information was enough to make him go homicidal, to stake her out and rip her apart for doing that to _his _Hiro. But the icing on his cake had to have come when Hiro pulled him aside one afternoon after their scheduled band practice. For the past two months Shuichi had been more distant. Hiro started to hang around Suguru more often. And these little meetings normally had to do with asking Suguru a question on what present to buy Ayaka, or where to bring her on their next date.

"I'm thinking about taking Ayaka-chan to that new French place that just opened up a few blocks away. Do you think she'll like it?" He was nervous, sweating, glancing around the room with a soft of shifty gaze. Hiro's left hand was resting on his jacket pocket while his right sat on Suguru's left shoulder.

"I'm sure she wont mind where you take her as long as she's with you." The boy tried to hid the sadness and anger in his voice from the lie he spoke, and the blush on his cheeks from Hiro's hand touching his shoulder.

"Are you sure that you think she'll like it?"

"Yes, you seem nervous.. what's wrong?" He was starting to worry slightly when Hiro suddenly bit his lip. This was something Suguru had seen Shuichi do when he was worried or nervous, but never Hiro.

"I'm going to propose to her tonight!" He blurted out.

Suguru's eyes welled up with tears. "I'm.. I'm happy for you. Go for it. I have to go to the bathroom." He ran off, leaving a blinking Hiro in his wake.

Shuichi watched this exchange from a distance. He knew about Suguru's feelings for his friend but didn't want to ruin Hiro and Ayaka's relationship. _'Those two are good for each other'_, he thought _'I'm not about to ruin something this good for Hiro.'_ So he said nothing to Hiro and ran off to find Suguru.

He found nothing. Suguru had gone home.

1-

As to be expected Ayaka accepted the proposal. She and Hiro were to be married within a year. It was Suguru Fujisaki's worst nightmare. He dreaded the day. He knew he wouldn't be able to go through with it and watch Hiro marry that girl. "He can't do this! I can't let him do this! Why am I letting him do this?" He spoke aloud to his empty room, looking around for answers. His bed was quiet. His chair was quiet. The carpet, the heater, the posters, the computer, et-cetera. Everything in his room was dead quiet. Nothing spoke to him. Nothing cared enough to do so.

The door creaked open. Suguru turned, expecting to see his mother. He had been rather loud while talking to himself and if she heard she would yell. However, instead of finding an angry woman Suguru found himself facing a large black cat. The cat walked over to his bed, rubbing against his legs as he passed, and stretched before curling up. Suguru smiled and sat next to the large creature.

"Hello Koushiro." He pet the cat behind his ears making him meow and purr slightly. "What do you think? Should I tell Hiro?" Koushiro looked up at his owner and did a sort of meowing growl. "You're right! He would hate me if I said anything. And she makes him happy. I don't want him to not be happy." He single tear rolled down his cheek and fell onto the Koushiro's fur.

2-

There were two weeks left until the dreadful day of the wedding. Suguru paced his room frantically trying to figure out a way to get out of going. He thought he had more time. Originally the wedding had been scheduled for December. That would have given him a few months. However, Hiro decided December was too long a wait for him and now the set date was October the sixteenth. It was currently October first. He looked at the clock by his bed, seven o'clock. His mother would be calling him for dinner soon.

"Dinner time! If you don't come right this minute I'll feed it to the dog!" Right on time. Suguru scrubbed his hands over his face and walked out of his room. He sat down across from his mother. She was a tall woman with a tight, graying bun.

They ate in silence. When the food was done Suguru washed the dishes. His mother watched him. "Do not put that one away! It's still filthy." She pointed the plate he had just finished and her finger shook slightly.

"Sorry, I wasn't paying attention."

"'Wasn't paying attention' he says. Well that's just perfect! Do you expect me to eat on dirty dishes? Clean them all again! In fact I want this whole place cleaned. If it isn't I'll punish you for the rest of the week." She shook her head and walked out of the room.

Suguru sighed and looked at dishes. Picking up a blue plate from the pile of clean ones he started to wash it again. As he cleaned his mind wandered. He thought of his mother. Wicked woman that she was. She wasn't his real mother, his real mother was dead. Killed by his father. He had never told anyone this. Thoma made sure no one found out.

The woman he currently called his mother was his fathers old lover. He hated her. When he came to her he was a confused little boy. His mother was gone. His father had been taken away. He was stuck with a wicked woman. She hated loud noises, Suguru became quiet. She thought children's games were foolish, Suguru became serious. The only thing she truly let him have was music. The woman forced him to grow up too fast.

It was very late when Suguru had finished his cleaning. He walked into his room and slipped under the covers. Koushiro was laying next to his pillow. "Good night.." he whispered and fell asleep.

He was cursed with dreams of not so far off weddings. Of watching the one person he ever truly loved wed with a girl who never loved him at all. He tossed and turned all night.

3-

October eighth, one week until the wedding. Suguru was at band practice but it was going nowhere. He and Hiro were still waiting for Shuichi to show. They had been waiting for nearly two hours. He called and said he would be a little late but they were about to pack up by now. "Shuichi is late sometimes.. most of the time.. but this is crazy." Hiro ran a hand through his hair. "I should call him." He pulled out his cell phone and had dialed the pink haired singers number when the doors burst open.

"Sorry.." Shuichi walked in. He was biting down hard on his lip. "I was out.. uh.."

"What have you been doing lately?" Hiro asked after Shuichi couldn't think of anything to say to him.

"What do you mean?" Was the reply.

"You know what I mean! Lately you've been coming later and you've been acting really strange! In fact this has been going on for months! Do you think I don't notice these things?"

"Calm down! I can't tell you. No one can know!" With that Shuichi ran from the room, tears falling down his face.

"You should go after him." Suguru advised. Hiro simply nodded and ran from the room.

3-

Suguru sat on a park bench. He watched people walk with friends and family. With lovers. The word taunted him. He slowly stood and made to go home when he notice a familiar head of pink hair. He was about to say something to Shuichi, but an older man beat him to the chase.

He looked to be about the age of Suguru's 'mother', the man was tall and attractive for his age. His dark hair was graying in various spots but it was all there in full. He smiled kindly at Shuichi but his eyes were dark. "You still have feelings for him." The man stated. Suguru guessed that 'him' was Eiri Yuki, he and Shuichi hadn't been together for months.

"What do you mean..? How would you know that!" Shuichi's eyes were wide with shock.

The man laughed cruelly. "You keep a diary. I found it.. I forbid you to write in it! Not even you private words can belong to him. You belong to me."

"That diary was at my apartment!" The pink haired man screamed.

"I searched it." The older man slapped him. "And don't yell at me! Don't expect me to give this back to you. I'm keeping it. If you ever try to defy me it's going straight to him. I doubt he would very much like to know about all those dreams you have of him."

"P-please don't.. I'll be good.. I'm sorry I yelled! I'm sorry Kensuke!" Shuichi was shaking. Suguru searched his memory. About a month after the breakup with Yuki Shuichi had gone on a date with a man named Kensuke Masuhara. Hiro and he had never met the man. They didn't know that Shuichi was still dating him.

"That's a good boy." Kensuke turned his gaze to Suguru. "Isn't that one of you band-mates?" Shuichi turned slowly.

"F-fujisaki-kun! Oh.." Shuichi swallowed hard and began chewing his lip as he thought of something he could tell Suguru. Finding nothing he ran as fast as he could out of the park. Kensuke followed.

4-

Suguru knew Shuichi wouldn't want him to say anything about what he saw. He didn't. Not that he would have had much chance to. Bad Luck hadn't met at all since the day that Shuichi ran out. It was currently October the sixteenth, the day of the wedding. Suguru stood outside a large church. He was in his best suit and his hair was brushed and styled.

He was a mess.

Suguru hadn't slept more than an hour a night for nearly four days. The only thing keeping him on his feet was about a ton of coffee and sugar. He was nervous and scared. Today the person he loved would marry. Today his heart would die. Suguru felt the tears forming in his eyes but quickly wiped them away.

"Here goes nothing.." he entered the church just as the bells were sounding. He could barely hear them his heart was beating so fast. Pounding against his chest.. reverberating in his ears. He took a deep breath, looking around at all the people there. They were going to watch a man in love marry the wrong person.

He was going to watch.

Suguru noticed that he was shaking. He took another step. _'Calm down..' _his mind whispered. It was not soothing. He could not calm down. His head pounded. His mind raced. Suguru looked around the church once more before his world went black and he fell to the floor.

End of Part One-

Wow! I think this may be the best fanfic I've ever written! Review if you like. I'm not pushing. The next part will be up when I can put it up. I don't know when! This WILL be Hiro and Suguru don't worry.. although I'm not sure if they will be together at the end or in a follow up.. urgh .. it will most likely be Hiro and Suguru! And everything that's going on with Shuichi will be cleared up soon.. ALSO! Yuki will be in the next part!


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